‘Dundee’ presents the toughest and silliest questions from this year’s three-legs.
Archaeology
Which of your supervisors remind you the most of Homo neanderthalensis?
Architecture
Design a House of Cards more stable than the current government.
ASNAC
Please take a moment to consider your life choices. Done? Please take another moment to do it again.
Biology
Are those fish that swim up the urethra real, and, if so, how do I stop having nightmares about them?
Chemistry
Using only common household ingredients and equipment, synthesise to 99% purity:
- Semaglutide GLP-1
- Sildenafil
Classics
Translate the following phrases into English, both literally and poetically:
- caecilius est in horto
- romani ite domum
- qui facit per alium facit per se
Computer Science
Use AI to vibe-code a crypto currency for me to rug-pull.
Economics
Explain, in no fewer than 5,000 words, why a hard-working single mother of three, working two jobs and living pay-cheque to pay-cheque, should be evicted from her rental apartment and squeezed of every last penny at the supermarket, just to make your investment in BlackRock go up by 13p. In your answer you should be as callous and avaricious as humanly possible, and deny responsibility for the inordinate harm you would cause to obtain ever more wealth.
Education
‘Teach me, daddy.’ Discuss.
Engineering
By refining radioactive material from the smoke alarms on your staircase, create a nuclear warhead.
English
Spell the following words: (i) Cat, (ii) Dog, (iii) Antidisestablishmentarianism
Geography
NOTE: This question was a repeat from last year’s exam and clearly everybody failed.
Below is a map of the Middle East. Draw lines to indicate where you would place borders to form stable, peaceful countries.
History
‘Ancient History is not real history.’ Discuss.
History of Art
Can pornography ever be considered ‘art’? Include in your answer detailed descriptions of your favourite genres.
HSPS
Social Anthropology aims to discover what it is to be human by investigating the cultural and societal landscape of humanity. Defend the existence of this discipline.
Land Economy
NOTE: This question was removed due to its apparent difficulty.
Agricultural land in Oxfordshire costs £10,000/acre, whilst similar land with planning permission is worth £800,000/acre. A sanctioned Russian oligarch buys 200 acres of farmland in the outskirts of Oxford and uses his dodgy connections with the local Conservative council to gain planning permission for half of it. How much money has he made?
Law
Please file a class-action lawsuit against Trinity College for repeatedly overcharging our side salads as salads.
Linguistics
My husband says his ‘love language’ is drinking in the pub until midnight with his friends. Does this constitute a genuine language?
Mathematics
Prove that 2 + 2 = 5.
Medicine
Why do my genitals smell so bad? Should they really be that colour?
Music
You’ve got to make your own kind of music. Sing your own special song. Make your own kind of music, even in nobody else sings along!
PBS
Explain, with the aid of a diagram, why I can’t stop thinking about my ex-wife.
Philosophy
Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?
Physics
How fast do I have to be moving to finally last two minutes in bed (due to time dilation)?
Politics
Looking at the world around us, it is clear that democracy is crumbling. By citing historical examples, explain whether fascism or communism will save us.
Theology
What happened to my little Timothena when she died? Did she go to hamster heaven or hamster hell?
Veterinary Medicine
When a furry is injured is it ethical to put them down?
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