‘Agony’ is strapped for cash.
Student loan went on poor life choices and the van of death faster than it should have done? Or are you just a bit avaricious? Either way, there might possibly be a job for you!*
1) Tutoring. Why not spend some of your precious hours on God’s glorious earth ‘teaching’ some pixilated overworked child in Dubai about nouns and modal verbs and third-declension adjectives, as he feeds back whatever ChatGPT said the answer is and as the weeks go by you see the youthful glow fade from his eyes and you consider that you are complicit in whatever crime the parent’s unrelenting regimen of intensive after-school/weekend/vacation tutoring comprises and reflect that he hasn’t seemed happy since he did his DofE expedition in the desert a few months ago and you don’t feel it’s within your power to change this so you just get him to (ask ChatGPT to) translate another sentence from English into Latin.
2) Student Ambassador. Actually a disconcertingly good gig. Glad it’s possible to get some of the tuition fee money flowing in the opposite direction to usual.
3) Dog walker. Could be fun if you don’t strongly dislike/fear/object on philosophical grounds to the domestication of dogs.
4) Selling photographs pedum tuorum. I’m told that you can make anything from almost no money to some money selling photographs of your feet through various specialised online marketplaces. I took it upon myself to discuss with a part-time pastor (disclosure: non-denominational, not ordained in the Anglican church, my father) the ethics of such a venture. The salient points, distilled for you, are that it is a bit weird that some people are into feet, but in more genteel Victorian times apparently some people were into table legs and it wasn’t sinful to make table legs, so this isn’t necessarily that different (of course, I interject, the table legs were being made with a primarily practical purpose, with any sexual application only secondary. I’m not sure this is the case of the foot photos unfortunately). He also added that modelling for life drawing isn’t usually an issue, though selling comparable images of oneself is more suspect. So selling photographs of non-inherently sexual parts isn’t necessarily wrong, as it could just be appreciated for their aesthetic quality. My conclusion from all this is that we live in a rather complicated world really, and also that he’s gone woke in his old age. Selling foot pictures is almost certainly sinful, and Travisty therefore can be no means condone such activities.
5) Vaccine Trialist. ‘You are invited to take part in a study to investigate a new vaccine against Bundibugyo ebolavirus. The study is being led by the Oxford Vaccine Group, which is part of the University of Oxford. The study will take place at the Oxford Vaccine Group in Headington, Oxford’. If ever since you were a little girl, you’ve dreamt of being injected with Ebola, this is the opportunity for you! You could just go to the Congo I guess, but you wouldn’t get paid ‘up to £1,200 for group 1 and up to £790 for group 2 for your time, travel and inconvenience’ (and the misfortune for being associated with something produced in O*ford).
6) Corpse. The medical school is always hiring. Interested applicants should be aware that this is a voluntary, permanent position.
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