‘Rattanfowl’ cuts to the chase.
The world reels in awe of one of literature’s greatest travesties. History’s most illustrious and penetrating comic newspaper, Travisty, has narrowly missed out on the 2026 Nobel Prize in Literature after a tight race. Despite all academics, autodidacts, and apostates citing Travisty as the most dominant and authoritative voice in 21st-century journalism and literature, we are yet to receive any official recognition from the antiquated bodies who are wont to decide these things. The Nobel Foundation and ‘winner’ Anne Carson have refused to officially comment, causing significant backlash among even those most sceptical to the Travistosi.
In response, we sent our top journalist Noah Ward to infiltrate the Foundation, leading to an unsurprising yet damning discovery: many voters snubbed Travisty because, in their words, it was simply ‘too funny’ and ‘far too good to win’. While we likewise consider ourselves above the Award in prestige, we cannot ignore the protestation of the public: though we’ve been snubbed annually since 2007, this is our last straw.
In terms of immediate action, we have organised a trip to Stockholm for Travisty’s key contributors to partake in anti-hunger strikes. We also encourage our supporters to mark their solidarity by abstaining from your usual hourly routine of reading Travisty. In the meantime, an ambitious plan has been drafted by our wonderful writers and editors: given the nature of the voters’ comments, we have no choice but to make the newspaper worse as protestation.
Our benevolent editors had this to say regarding the plan: ‘We’ll do it 10x if we have to. They’re not ready.’ We can confirm that the evolution of this organ, so effective at beating members’ veins with our abysmal comedy, is well underway. Our readers can thus expect Travisty’s quality to degenerate further throughout the year; we are sure you’ll enjoy watching our endeavours somehow sink into even lower depths. Thank you to all Travisionaries for your endless support and adoration; we will receive the glory we deserve, and you the honour of being able to watch from your chairs.
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